Do not ask me to remember,
Don't try to make me understand;
Let me rest and know you're with me,
Kiss my cheek and hold my hand.
I'm confused beyond your concept,
I am sad and sick and lost;
All I know is that I need you
To be with me at all cost.
Do not lose your patience with me,
Do not scold or curse or cry;
I can't help the way I'm acting,
Can't be different 'though I try.
Just remember that I need you,
That the best of me is gone;
Please don't fail to stand beside me,
Love me 'til my life is done.
Dad, Mother & me
Sept. 2010
July 8, 2010
Taking one day at a time.......
Well, it has been several days since my last post. I had originally wanted to post daily, but somehow it seems that there isn't enough time in a day anymore!! I wanted to be sure to post why I have not been following through with my plan, & make sure that I am not neglecting this blog because it is very important to me. I will be posting a lot more later on today or this evening for sure. Lots of things to make note of lately.
July 1, 2010
Marilyn Sue Colley-Smith
My mother, Marilyn Sue Colley-Smith, 72 years of age, is in the middle stages of Alzheimer's. It is a daily struggle for everyone involved. My dad, Wayne Smith, is her primary care-giver & has been by her side for 56 years this coming August. My mother was next to the oldest of 9 children. (6 girls/3 boys) She & my dad had 5 children - I am the youngest child. She has 4 grand-sons & 4 grand-daughters. One great grand-daughter & one great grand-son. She also helped in raising 2 of her grand-daughters, beginning when they were ages 4 & 18 months old. So, as you can conclude, she has spent just about all of her life taking care of everyone.
I have "dreaded" this happening since I was about 5 or 6 years of age. My dad's mother, my "Ma-ma", developed early signs of Alzheimer's at that time. But, back then, everyone called it "hardening of the arteries". It wasn't until later that Alzheimer's was introduced. I can still vividly remember the "episodes" she had. We had a breeze-way that separated her one room house from ours. She started out, as most do, repeating the same stories. Then, she would think she saw someone in my dad's barn or walking down the road in front of the house. We would have to walk to the barn with her & show her there was no one there. It progressed to her coming in from her house into my brothers' room to sleep at night. (There was an empty bed & it was the first room off the breeze-way.) She then started getting up & would come tell my dad that she needed to go home. Eventually, he told her to go get in the car & would drive down the road a bit & turn around & come back to our house. She would get out & go in my brothers' room & go to bed. So, needless to say, I was somewhat traumatized by all of this. I have worried about it as long as I can remember. **Ma-ma lived about 12 years with this heart wrenching disease. RIP Ma-ma!!!**
My mother's parents, my "Mama Colley & Pa", had Alzheimer's, as well. They both started showing signs at the same time. They were put in a nursing home & celebrated their 68th wedding anniversary while they were there. They started out in the nursing home in the same room. But, that didn't last too long, as Pa couldn't walk, for some unknown reason, & Mama Colley would try to untie the restraining straps they had on him to keep him from trying to get up. They didn't want him to fall. Mother went to the nursing home daily, & on Fridays, she helped the beautician in the beauty shop by washing the ladies hair for her. It was an all day job for them. Pa passed away in 2000, and Mama Colley passed away in 2002. I believe she grieved herself to death over Pa. She didn't know she was even here, but I know she could "feel" that he was gone. She weighed 57 pounds, and it was so hard to see her like that.
Mother always did so much for everyone else. Yet, I never once heard her complain. It became a way of life for her, and was just normalcy. So, when she began to show signs of Alzheimer's, it was not an easy thing for any of us to accept. (some more so than others, of course.) My dad, in my opinion, was the last one to accept it, & understandably so. But, he has accepted the fact now, and has done such a good job taking care of her. He lost his patience with her some, but I had him read a poem I thought would give him a different perspective of what was really going on with Mother. And, it did. He told me that he was really going to try harder in the future to keep his cool. I know that since he was the one who was constantly with her, it would be normal for him to get frustrated & eventually lose his patience. But, I also knew that,in the long run,she would stop talking completely if she "got in trouble" every time she did. I believe with all my heart that I have been able to be more patient with her because of the experiences I have had with elderly people, in general, not just ones with Alzheimer's.
I wanted to start this blog so that I could save things that Mother does daily, or weekly, that is due to Alzheimer's. I want to possibly share this with someone who will go through this & hopefully give them some "insight" about what to expect. **Each person is affected differently, so keep this is mind, also.**
Until next time,
Shanna
I have "dreaded" this happening since I was about 5 or 6 years of age. My dad's mother, my "Ma-ma", developed early signs of Alzheimer's at that time. But, back then, everyone called it "hardening of the arteries". It wasn't until later that Alzheimer's was introduced. I can still vividly remember the "episodes" she had. We had a breeze-way that separated her one room house from ours. She started out, as most do, repeating the same stories. Then, she would think she saw someone in my dad's barn or walking down the road in front of the house. We would have to walk to the barn with her & show her there was no one there. It progressed to her coming in from her house into my brothers' room to sleep at night. (There was an empty bed & it was the first room off the breeze-way.) She then started getting up & would come tell my dad that she needed to go home. Eventually, he told her to go get in the car & would drive down the road a bit & turn around & come back to our house. She would get out & go in my brothers' room & go to bed. So, needless to say, I was somewhat traumatized by all of this. I have worried about it as long as I can remember. **Ma-ma lived about 12 years with this heart wrenching disease. RIP Ma-ma!!!**
My mother's parents, my "Mama Colley & Pa", had Alzheimer's, as well. They both started showing signs at the same time. They were put in a nursing home & celebrated their 68th wedding anniversary while they were there. They started out in the nursing home in the same room. But, that didn't last too long, as Pa couldn't walk, for some unknown reason, & Mama Colley would try to untie the restraining straps they had on him to keep him from trying to get up. They didn't want him to fall. Mother went to the nursing home daily, & on Fridays, she helped the beautician in the beauty shop by washing the ladies hair for her. It was an all day job for them. Pa passed away in 2000, and Mama Colley passed away in 2002. I believe she grieved herself to death over Pa. She didn't know she was even here, but I know she could "feel" that he was gone. She weighed 57 pounds, and it was so hard to see her like that.
Mother always did so much for everyone else. Yet, I never once heard her complain. It became a way of life for her, and was just normalcy. So, when she began to show signs of Alzheimer's, it was not an easy thing for any of us to accept. (some more so than others, of course.) My dad, in my opinion, was the last one to accept it, & understandably so. But, he has accepted the fact now, and has done such a good job taking care of her. He lost his patience with her some, but I had him read a poem I thought would give him a different perspective of what was really going on with Mother. And, it did. He told me that he was really going to try harder in the future to keep his cool. I know that since he was the one who was constantly with her, it would be normal for him to get frustrated & eventually lose his patience. But, I also knew that,in the long run,she would stop talking completely if she "got in trouble" every time she did. I believe with all my heart that I have been able to be more patient with her because of the experiences I have had with elderly people, in general, not just ones with Alzheimer's.
I wanted to start this blog so that I could save things that Mother does daily, or weekly, that is due to Alzheimer's. I want to possibly share this with someone who will go through this & hopefully give them some "insight" about what to expect. **Each person is affected differently, so keep this is mind, also.**
Until next time,
Shanna
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